Unanswerable questions, guilt, shame, anger, judgment, our beliefs about grief, and religion, are all obstacles on our road toward healing. What to do if we missed the signs, or if there were never any signs to begin with? How does one move on from this experience, and is it even possible? How do we move forward without the fear of forgetting our loved ones? How do we learn to live a life of duality where loss and a new life can co-exist? How do we even begin to build a new life when we are still struggling to come to terms with the old one?
Suicide is complex and the grief after suicide loss is just as complex. Almost everybody who is touched by this struggle to move through the grieving process. A good portion of families never seems to adjust to their new life at all. Suicide ideation amongst the bereaved friends and family is not rare, even if they have never struggled with mental health issues before.
Society is impatient with grief, and even grief counsellors don’t grasp the depth of it unless they have walked in these shoes. The bottom line is that you don’t know before you know. It is pain that crushes your body, mind, and soul, and when it is not understood or validated, the wound deepens and may even delay healing.